I recently came across Tenille’s blog, Next Gen Mum, and loved her honesty and her take on motherhood. She wrote a piece about returning to ‘normal’ after having a baby and why this isn’t necessarily possible (even though a lot of new mums in the early stages of their baby’s lives wish this were possible!). I asked if she could share her thoughts on this with us, and she has kindly agreed to do so. I hope you enjoy her take on this, and let us know in the comments below what you think! x
Becoming a mother has to be one of the biggest learning curves in a woman’s life. Even just the thought of being responsible for a helpless human being brings on just about every emotion I can think of.
Even if taking on this responsibility is exactly what you are craving, it still comes with its fair share of hard-hitting truths. The reality is, everyone who said your life would change forever was right.
Aside from the endless nappies, what seems like never-ending feeding sessions and piles and piles of washing that you just never manage to quite get through, there’s another part that no one seems to talk about as honestly as it deserves.
You will be different.
I was different.
My thoughts changed, my attitude changed, the way I dressed, the way I planned things, the way I looked at my partner/mum/friend/family, it was all different, and my small business, well that was gone too. Some I expected, and some that I did not.
So where to from here?
Well if you’re into torturing yourself by reading the copious amounts of parenting articles, which seem to be giving out the ‘keys to success; ways to get back to normal after a baby,’ you’re probably feeling just as terrible as I was. Guilty, beating yourself up because you’re not bouncing back to your old self-quick enough.
See getting back to “normal” isn’t a fair statement to make in motherhood, much the same as using the term “velcro baby” but that’s for another day. “Why isn’t it fair?” I hear you ask, well your life as a mother has different priorities, different wants, and different needs. Society puts a lot of pressure on new mums to get back to normal as quick as possible, maybe because we see so many celebrities do it. To get back to our careers, our fitness routines, our travelling or creative work, to show that we are happy, still doing what we wanted pre-baby.
Truth is, it’s not all that easy. Some may even argue they don’t want to go back to the way they were pre-baby, however, if you feel as though you miss your old life, my one word of advice, just give yourself time.
Be patient. Don’t get caught up in the social media, allow yourself to enjoy the time you can have learning how to be a mother, it’s the hardest, most rewarding challenge in your life.
Finding what makes you, you will come eventually, it may be something that you did before you fell pregnant, it may be something completely new and exciting. All I know is, it will come in time, if you don’t force it.