I miss it. I miss everything about it. If I had a dollar for everytime I told the hubby that I missed sleep, we’d be quadrillionaires. 

I’ve had to jump up every hour for the last 3 trying to give Starfish a dummy to help his sleeping, before deciding it was food time. This is a bit of a shame, as a week ago we had enjoyed stretches of 7, 8, 9 hours of sleep. Not sure what the deal is, but I miss it.
It reminds me of the first few nights in hospital after Starfish was born, where at nights we literally got NO sleep cause he’d only sleep on us (such a cuddly baby!). It reminds me of the first couple of weeks when we had Starfish in the unit, who still didn’t like the bassinet and so hubby and I would do shifts of watching Netflix on the couch at those awful hours of the morning while Starfish slept on us.
Before I finished up at work, my wonderful colleagues threw a farewell morning for me and another teacher who was leaving. To remind staff of the morning tea, one teacher wrote on the whiteboard “welcome to the world of no sleep Fiona”. I laughed, the way people who have no idea laugh. You know. Absolutely nothing prepares you for the lack of sleep you get in those early days. A few parents I know have joked, ‘there’s a reason why sleep deprivation is a form of torture’. For a woman who was in love with her sleep, I totally get it. 
To get through those tough, sleep-deprived times, hubby and I would laugh. We would watch YouTube clips on the Xbox (specifically, Fail Army) and laugh ourselves ridiculously silly. What an odd and wonderful coping mechanism. It also helped keep a beautiful lid on our relationship on what was the most tiring and stressful time of our lives.
Almost unfortunately, those times are past. Our 11 and a half week boy now sleeps in his bassinet or cot, and hubby and I make the most of our sleep rather than laugh ourselves delirious on the couch. So how do I now get through those exhausting times when Starfish doesn’t want to sleep as much? I think about his gorgeous smile that I get to wake up to in the morning. I think about the playtimes I’ll get with him through the day. I think about how he is relying on his mumma to give him what he needs and to care for him. Many parents have told me to treasure this time, because they grow up far too quickly. I’ll look back on these nights and miss them, and I can see how that’ll be true.
So even though I miss sleep, I’m going to try and savour these midnight cuddles while I still can. 

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