This morning, it got to 8.30 and little Starfish was tired. He was getting to “happy sad” stage (you know, the one where they are laughing and crying at the same time cause they’re so tired). I changed him, swaddled him, and put him down for bed. Within seconds of me leaving the room, he started to cry. And our little man doesn’t cry quietly – no, he wants to make sure you can hear him. My brain started ticking – should I go in and give him a dummy? Should I wait to see if he’ll fall asleep? What if it gets worse? If I leave him to cry will he be scarred for life? (Yes, those thought do cross our minds).
It made me think about all the decisions I have already had to make as a parent, and all the ones I will have to make. For those of you who know me, you may know I’m not a great decision maker – I don’t necessarily enjoy it. I’m always worried about making the wrong one. When hubby asks, “What do you want for dinner?” I always respond with “What do you want?” Same goes for weekend outings, how to spend our time, what to get at the shops… the list is endless. So having to suddenly make decisions for another little human is incredibly daunting. And that list makes the previous list look like nothing!
* Do I let him self settle? Do I let him cry it out? (What is the freaking difference?!?)
* Do I get up and feed him now at 2am? Do I let him self-settle?
* Do we keep him in our room at night? Do we move him into his room in the cot?
* When do we start solids? Is it 4 months or 6 months?
* When should we start swimming lessons? 3 months, 4 months, 6 months…?
* Should I feed him, change him, put him down for a sleep? (WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!)
* Do I go have a shower? Or will he wake up as soon as I get in? (Yes. Yes he will.)
* Should we go out for the morning while he’s being fussy or hasn’t slept? Or do we stay home so he can try and get some sleep?
* What toys should we get so he has enough stimulation for his development?
* When do we stop trying to burp him because he screams in our ears?
* When do we take a bottle of expressed milk so I don’t have to get my boobs out in public? (which you end up doing anyway because he always wants more than what you’ve taken)
* When should we look at daycare for when I go back to work? How many days should I go back to work?
And these are only the questions we’re asking when he’s been alive for 1/4 of a year. What will it be like in 6 months, 12 months, 2 years, 5 years…
I wonder if you get used to it, or if it always seems so daunting.
Anyway, with the little Starfish sleeping this morning, my biggest decision was how many cookies to bake. I can definitely make that decision on my own.